On August 27 2001 Anita had a minor stroke (TIA) she spent a few days
in Salem Hospital and recovered completely. She was placed
on Coumidan a blood thinner. A planned hip replacement was
therefore postponed to
December
20 2001. The hip replacement was done by Dr Sweetland at Salem
Hospital
She stayed there over Xmas 2001 and New Years 2002. Because of the
holiday, staff
was short and I was permitted to care of her during much of the days
and
nights. After a short time in the Shaugnessy Rehabilitation
Center I continued to care for her at home. During April 2002 she
developed
abdominal pains. Her phsician, a Dr. Alexander, treated her for a viral
infection. Pains persisted and an X-ray was taken at the Swampscott
Trauma
center. The x-ray showed nothing significant. After more extreme pain
and nausea, I
took her to Salem Hospital Emergency where, after waiting in
severe
pain for four hours, a Dr. Yee gave her Sofran and told her to to go
back
to Dr. Alexander. I then consulted the internet about her symptoms,
which
she described as 'similar to gallbladder attacks', I suspected a
blockage
of the pancreatic ducts and, when Dr. Alexander again mentioned a
virus,
we forced him, under threat of malpractice. to admit her to Salem
Hospital
and to call in an internist. Two days later a cat-scan revealed an
inoperable
tumor in the head of the pancreas. Standard FU5 treatment and radiation
alleviated the pain. Dr Susan Kaplan, the radiologists then told
her to enjoy any pain free moment she had to the utmost because
she would die in approximately 8 month regardless of any further
treatment. Following that advice and disregarding other advice she was
able to enjoy two short vacations in
North
Conway and Franconia (see
photo, June 2002, below).where, exactly 6
months after her hip replacement
and 5 months before her death,
she climbed the 300 steps into the Lost River Gorge. Subsequent
experimental
treatment with Gemzar and EKB at MGH & Dana Faber (Mass General
Hospital)
failed. On her 79th birthday, 21 days before her death, she went
to vote to 'do her civic duty' one last time. Two weeks before her
death she arranged for her own cremation and engaged the North Shore
Hospice service. She died in her bedroom at
27 Greystone Park, Lynn in the arms of our daughter Yetti at 09h45
Tuesday
November 26 2002.
Anita was loved by all who knew her for her integrity, generosity,
loyalty, and her readiness at all times to listen. Her attitude
to life was always positive whatever the circumstance. She was
determined to do all things "right" often in the face of
indifference and even ridicule on my part. She was devoted to her
family, to me
and to her pets. She loved live theater, nature, planting vegetables
and travel.. Anita was free from vertigo, from phobias and from
prejudices of any
kind. She loved
to play with wind-up toys and musicboxes. She loved to play games and I
never beat her at Chinese Checkers. Her room was filled with
small stuffed animals. Our love was intense and physical to
the
end. We often
embarrassed
our children and friends by shows of affection or by
clowning
in public places. Her personality was ennigmatic in that
she combined rational opinions with an
unwillingness
to debate or discuss issues. Her facial features were also hard to pin
down because the essence of the face lay in its animation. Photographs
were therefore more successful in rendering characterist images
of her than attempts at
live drawings
Our relationship started suddenly and in circumstances
involving both of us, but each of us separately, in
pressing activities involving changes in citicenship status,. personal
relationships and country. We had no time to gradually develop intimacy
as
lovers and to some degree this state persisted through most of
our
lives together. After we retired in 1986 we looked at each other in a
different light. Love came late and gradually to me - I can not speak
for Anita - but
my love for her, was always physical, but after takiing her for granted
most of my life it grew intense and eventually encompassed
all facets of her being,.
Her death has taken from my life most of its immediate motivations
of these last years, and has limited my potential for joyful
experience.
In deep deep sorrow, Lothar
Frenkel
11/29/2002
.......
1937 BERLIN
EINSEGNUNG
1948 NUEREMBERG MARRIED
.
.......
WASHINGTON
DC 1962 WITH FAMILY JUNE
2002 FRANCONIA NEW
HAMPSHIRE
........
DIED NOVEMBER 26th 2002